July 7, 2024
During the past few months, in this current season of my life, I’ve been ruminating on identity and all its facets. Who am I, what is my purpose, and how can I fulfill it to be as “tov” as possible?
Let me back up: I’ve recently gotten engaged to a wonderful and godly man, and together we’re attending premarital counseling, we’re getting to know one another and our differences through personality tests, spiritual gifts, discussions of theology and our backgrounds, discovering our love languages, planning our registry and our future home together, and pondering a common goal for our lives and for our family going forward. In all of that, I’m realizing that my identity for the first twenty-five years of my life, while similar, will not be altogether the same as the identity I’m taking on. The visions and goals and dreams I’ve had as a single woman with my own income and my own apartment will be different as I blend them with the visions, goals, and dreams of a husband in our building a life and home together — and that’s good!
But it’s also overwhelming!
In marrying my fiancé, I’ll be changing my name and joining in with another family, taking on the needs and desires of another human in a lifelong commitment, giving up much of my free time and my independence and, if our Abba wills it, giving him children as heirs to nurture and raise in His Scriptures. It’s a lot of changes all at once, and to juggle it all has been a lot for my brain to hold.
While I do still work a full-time job, thus limiting my time and energy, I’d very much like to begin again with a new attempt to blog here. I’d like to track my journey, talking about the ins and outs of my life as it changes. Dumping my brain’s overwhelm into a format where it can be useful and productive. It is my prayer that, perhaps through my findings, you may be blessed as well with tools and ideas to discover yourself and find a trajectory for your life on Abba’s narrow road, and we can try new things together along the way. I’d very much like to post at least once a week in short snippets, sort of as a diary, and I’ll share the topics that are on my mind.
I do hope you’ll grab a glass of kombucha (or your summer drink of choice!), a nice journal and reliable pen, and visit with me for awhile in this cozy cottage.
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